2014 BVDH3 Hash Trash

BVD Hash House Harriers | ON-ON
Founded in 1999 and inappropriate ever since!

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#370 ~

Date: January 4, 2014

Start:

Hares: Dr. Dr. Anus and I Dream of Weenie

Hounds: Just Ken (Guam), Dollar In It, 6 Bucks and 2 Pity Fucks, Just Lori, Cumsicle, Mullet, Road Map, Lollipop, Kojak, No Go BOGO, Just Shawna. Half Inch Pipe, Spermaid, Snippit, Merkin Express, Sperm Curious - Zanboneme

OLD SCHOOL!! Can you say old school? Your eyes are not deceiving you.   Dollar In It, Kojak and Lolli, Doc Anus, Spermaid, Mullet, Spermaid are on the hound list.   16 hounds and 2 hares present and accounted for on $5 and Bunk Bed’s wedding day. Some of the pack were in south Florida celebrating with them. What do we call them now that they are married? The Inches? The Longs?   The Bunkinches?
Although we didn’t swim any canals, the hares lost their machete in the bush and took us through saw palms, thorny vines, pine needle-carpeted forest, burnt woodlands, scenic retention ponds, sugar sand, wooden bridges and just a little pavement via walking trails.
And the beer! We had choices! Hoegarden, Corona, and various other bottled goodies.   I believe we can thank Mullet and Hoosier for that – they had leftovers from their NY eve party. Thank God Lolli had a bottle opener on her lanyard. Delicate flowers cannot twist off bottle caps.
We took off from a park on Marie St in Malabar close to US 1 and trekked through a sanctuary.   We were told trail was about 4 miles long, with no water crossings, but just a little swamp and a fair amount of shiggy. This was not your usual Doc Anus trail as we actually got to stand up for most of it. Either his knees or Weenee may have had something to do with that.
Half Inch Pipe gave the chalk talk as the hares took off and we forgot to take a group grope. I can’t believe that. For once I didn’t have technology on trail and although I know there were plenty who did, we were anxious to see what Doc and Weenie had in store for us and we took off without a photo. We started at 3 pm to give us some extra time before sunset.
Dollar In It brought her very edible son-in-law, Just Ken, hailing from Give Up And Masturbate (AKA Guam). He wanted a name and said he’d be back next year to hare to get one. Maybe Guam can help him out on that one. Just Shawna needs a name, too but also needs to hare a trail before we can give her one. Sicle was named in Dollar's back yard on a 40 degree day!    Having the old school crew prompted much reminiscing.
Just Lori and Cumsicle wandered around in the woods for a while not seeing a single mark or hound, but eventually found trail again by listening for whistles even though Sicle only had one working ear.    They were DFLs at the half way.   Spermaid is fast! We were following him. He turned around and it had only been a minute and he disappeared.
Mullet ranged as usual and we only saw him at the halfway and circle. His lovely wife Hoosier showed up at circle just in time for a seat on ice. We got a lesson in party etiquette from her later on.
Our new RA 6 Bucks, REALLY defiled trail today.   We didn’t want to shake his hand if you know what I mean.
Road Map was in RARE form today - he was loud in circle and sang us several new songs. Darned if I can remember one.
Merkin Express wouldn’t chill her buns, but her husband Snippit bared his potato rolls more than enough for both of them.
Sperm Curious showed up with a black eye. When asked how he got it, I’m told BOGO has a matching bruise on his hip.   It doesn't have to be true, but it was the most interesting explanation of the day.
Zanboneme did his normal raping and pillaging and plowing past people, but everyone stayed upright today.
Our circle lasted a good long while as we had a nice covered deck with picnic tables to do it under.   We broke in our new RA by doing our normal too-long-in-between, birthdays, analversarys, divorces, technology on trail, false accusations, former military, blood on trail, defiling trail, who traveled the farthest and shortest distance to get there, and I think we brought Kojak in for being the oldest fart or the founder – or both.   The only thing we could pin on Lollipop, was that she went around a fence instead of over it. I’m lying. She had her pink camouflage pants on and was GI Jane all the way today.   It was dark and starting to drizzle by the time we finished and we headed to Malabar Mo’s for a bite and some libations. We also got interested in the Chiefs/Colts foosball game when the Colts started coming back. We called it an early night after the game was called and hounds went on their way to find beer in other watering holes. The Doc Anus sendoff team made plans to meet at the Wet Spot by 11 the next morning to get Doc all warmed up prior to boarding his plane to frozen Chiberia, I mean Michigan. I hope he made it home. We need hares!! Step up! May the hash get a piece.
By the way, I did see Wood Liquor at Mo's, but he missed all of us. Do we look that different?
Sicle
Rotating Hash Trash Writer - someone else will get a turn next time.